Dear Olay In Shower Body Lotion:
Y U no come in gallon size? That’s how much I love you. Your rich, creamy texture melts into my skin like butter. Your scent is comforting, like a mix of light soap and shea butter. And you are SO easy to use. Most lotions make me wait several minutes to sink into my skin, but not you, mi preciosa; I can simply rinse you off in the shower. You seem to dive in to my skin and disappear instantly, leaving nothing but a silky smooth feeling as evidence you were once here. If you were ever discontinued I would cry a tub full of crocodile-skin tears. I use you all year round, but in the winter your talents really shine. The best part is that you come for such a bargain price, you little minx. Topping out at a mere $6, there is no budget that can’t afford you. Thank you for making my skin so soft and satiny; I am forever grateful.